Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
