Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
i think i have two assholes
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
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Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
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He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
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