I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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