I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
