Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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