he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Randomize
