Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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