So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
