The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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