one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
