I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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