My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
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