You work out of a Hotel?
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Randomize
