I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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