I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Randomize
