Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Randomize
