i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
