I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
