i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
