38 yer olds are good kisserssss
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
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believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
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so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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