I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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