I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
