I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Randomize
