My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD