Cold hands, warm shart.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
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