He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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