i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
