Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
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