I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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