yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
