How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
