Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
