what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Randomize
