Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
