I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Randomize