plz talk dirty to me
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
