Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
