I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
