She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
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