Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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