Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...