So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice