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• (562): View more from California

  Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.

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• (407): View more from Florida

  sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.

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• (615): View more from Tennessee

  Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad

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  21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (917): View more from New York City

  If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you

  (917): View more from New York City

  Those had pot in them

  (917): View more from New York City

  And good luck on your interview asshole

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• (208): View more from Idaho

  Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas

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• (440): View more from Ohio

  Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.

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• (858): View more from California

  Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.

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• (214): View more from Texas

  Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.

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• 

  27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER

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• (217): View more from Illinois

  Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit

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• (440): View more from Ohio

  I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.

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• (719): View more from Colorado

  id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...

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• (818): View more from California

  Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...

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