i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
