Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
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