There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
