i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
