so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
