Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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