when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
