all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
