Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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