Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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