i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I need to stop coming to work sober
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Randomize
