so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
