So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
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He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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