In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
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