when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
