how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
