Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
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He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize