Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
