well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
