Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
